Rules in life

[Guest]

'I Hope You Dance... '

This was written by an 83-year-old woman to her friend *The last line says
it all. *

Dear Bertha,

I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting in the yard and admiring the
view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time
with my family and friends and less time working.

Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to
endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every
special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the
first Amaryllis blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous, I
can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries. I'm not saving my good
perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the hardware store
and tellers at the bank.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If
it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.

I'm not sure what others would've done had they known they wouldn't be here
for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think they would have
called family members and a few close friends. They might have called a few
former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to
think they would have gone out for a Chinese dinner or for whatever their
favorite food was.

I'm guessing; I'll never know.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my
hours were limited. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I
intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my
husband and parents often enough how much I truly love them I'm trying very
hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and
luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, tell myself that
it is special.

Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.

If you received this, it is because someone cares for you. If you're too
busy to take the few minutes that it takes right now to forward this, would
it be the first time you didn't do the little thing that would make a
difference in your relationships? I can tell you it certainly won't be the
last.

Take a few minutes to send this to a few people you care about, just to let
them know that you're thinking of them.

"People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need
to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there."

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as
well dance.

[Guest]

HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file in your PC.

2. Name it "Housework."

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you,

"Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?"

6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....

7. Feel better?

[Guest]

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

[Guest]

You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.



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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.



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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

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A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."



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The Bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

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Eighty per cent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

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Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."

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A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire."

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.

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According to the latest surveys, when making love, most married men fantasize that their wives aren't fantasizing.

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How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

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Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.

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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

[Guest]

Can Twins Have Two Fathers?” and Other Answers to Readers’ Questions
by Tiffany Owens for MSN Health & Fitness

The Internet can be a handy research tool to find answers to those most-pressing medical questions. But often, it can return confusing—even conflicting—information. With so many urban legends and medical myths floating around, it’s difficult to know what to believe.

But help has arrived: Here, a panel of medical professionals answers the top nine quirkiest health questions, as submitted by readers of our Ask the Experts section.

I am pregnant with twins and need to know if my babies can be one day older than the other? Can I have one baby by one dad and the other by another dad?

Not only is it possible for fraternal twins to have different fathers, it’s on the medical record books. This official medical term for this phenomenon is heteropaternal superfecundation.

The classic case was recorded in 1810 by John Archer, the first doctor to receive a medical degree in the U.S. According to Dr. Archer, a white woman who had sex with a black man and a white man within a short time of each other subsequently gave birth to twins—one white, one mulatto. Other cases have been reported since. And you thought this only happened with puppies?

Sperm cells can live inside a woman’s body for four to five days. Once ovulation occurs, the egg remains viable for another 12 to 48 hours before it begins to disintegrate; thus, the fertile period can span five to seven days.

Dr. Lawrence B. Werlin, founder and director of the Coastal Fertility Medical Center in Irvine, Calif., explains, “If the twins are fraternal, where two eggs (ova) are fertilized by two sperm and produce two genetically unique children, then one baby could be slightly older than the other. In addition, if a woman ovulates, releases two eggs and has intercourse with two different men, the eggs could be fertilized by both, resulting in fraternal twins with distinctive fathers.”

Historically, superfecundation has been difficult to prove, due to the crudeness of the blood-type testing methods. However, in 1978, Dr. Paul Terasaki of the UCLA School of Medicine reported in the New England Journal of Medicine that he and his colleagues had conclusively established a case of superfecundation using a sophisticated procedure called tissue HLA (or human leukocyte antigen) testing. Potential paternity-suit litigants, take note: This technique can also be applied to more conventional cases.
Is it true that when you’re a carrier for strep throat that you get an itchy butt?

Dr. Stuart Fischer of AskDrFischer.com says absolutely not. “There is no ‘carrier state’ for strep throat,” he notes, “‘carrier state’ only refers to viral infections, like hepatitis.”

Itchy throat, nose and eyes are common side effects for strep throat; however, an itchy bottom may be a sign of hemorrhoids (or that a little more attention should be paid to taking care of business in the bathroom).

http://health.msn.com/experts/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100137074&GT1=8211

[Guest]

To review: Complaints work against you in three ways. Firstly, no one wants to hear negative news about your illness and your problems. Secondly, complaining reinforces your own pain and discomfort. (Why keep replaying painful, negative memories?) And, thirdly, complaints, by themselves, accomplish nothing and divert you from taking constructive actions to improve your situation.

It's been said that 90 percent of the people don't care about your problems ... and the other 10 percent are glad you have them! Seriously, though, all of us can cut down on our complaining. From now on, let's do ourselves and others a favor and make our conversations uplifting. The people who don't complain much (and those who speak positively) are a joy to be around. Decide to join this group -- so people won't have to cross the street when they see you coming!

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Keller4.html

[Guest]

Subject: Never argue with a woman

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife liked to read.

One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. Although she wasn't familiar with the lake, the wife decided to take the boat. She rowed out a short distance, anchored, and returned to reading her book.

Along came the sheriff in his boat. He pulled up alongside her and said, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading my book," she replied...as she thought to herself, "duh, isn't it obvious?"

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informed her.

"But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," snapped the irate woman.

"But, I haven't even touched you," groused the sheriff.

"Yes, that's true, she replied, "but you do have all the equipment."

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MORAL: Never argue with a woman who knows how to read. It's likely she can also think.

[Guest]

Don’t wait for a smile to be nice.

Don’t wait to be loved to love.

Don’t wait to be lonely, to recognize the value of a friend.

Don’t wait for the best job, to begin to work.

Don’t wait to have a lot, to share a bit.

Don’t wait for the fall, to remember the advice.

Don’t wait for pain, to believe in prayer.

Don’t wait to have time, to be able to serve.

Don’t wait for anybody else pain, to ask for apologies

.. neither separation to make it up.

Don’t wait, because you don’t know how long it will take.

http://stpeter.ccreadbible.org/

[Guest]

top and Smell the Coffee!

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The

pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous, "Yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things: your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else, the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the

small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house

and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled,"I'm glad

you asked." He said, "It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

http://www.clemson.edu/giving/hehd/index.html

[Guest]

About a month ago there was a woman standing by the mall entrance
passing out flyers to all the women going in. The woman had written the flyer herself to tell about an experience she had, so that she might
warn other women.

The previous day, this woman had finished shopping, went out to her car and discovered that she had a flat. She got the jack out of the trunk and began to change the flat.

A nice man dressed in business suit and carrying a briefcase walked up to her and said, "I noticed you're changing a flat tire. Would you like me to take care of it for you?" The woman was grateful for his offer and accepted his help.

They chatted! ! amiably while the man changed the flat, and then put the flat tire and the jack in the trunk, shut it and dusted his hands off. The woman thanked him profusely, and as she was about to get in her car, the man told her that he left his car around on the other side of the mall, and asked if she would mind giving him a lift to his car. She was a little surprised and she asked him why his car was on other side. He explained that he had seen an old friend in the mall that he hadn't seen for some time and they had a bite to eat and visited for a while; he got
turned around in the mall and left through the wrong exit, and now he was running late and his car was clear around on the other side of the
mall.

The woman hated to tell him "no" because he had just rescued her from having to change her flat tire all by hers! ! elf, but she felt uneasy.
Then she remembered seeing the man put his briefcase in her trunk before shutting it and before he asked her for a ride to his car. She told him that she'd be happy to drive him around to his car, but she just
remembered one last thing she needed to buy. She said she would only be a few minutes he could sit down in her car and wait for her; she would be as quick as she could be. She hurried into the mall, and told a security guard what had happened; the guard came out to her car with her, but the man had left. They opened the trunk, took out his locked briefcase and took it down to the police station. The police opened it (ostensibly to look for ID so they could return it to the man). What they found was rope, duct tape, and knives. When the police checked her"flat" tire, there was nothing wrong with it; ! ! the air had simply been let out. It was obvious what the man's intention was, and obvious that he had carefully thought it out in advance. The woman was blessed to have escaped harm.

How much worse it would have been if she had children with her and had them wait in the car while the man fixed the tire, or if she had a baby strapped into a car seat. Or if she'd gone against her jud gment and given him a lift.

Please forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A
candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send
this to women only; but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters,
daughters, etc., please pass it on to them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it...

PLEASE BE SAFE AND NOT SORRY! JUST A WARNING TO ALWAYS BE ALERT AND USE YOUR HEAD!!!

Pass this along to every woman you haveaccess to. Never let your guard down.

SOMETIMES, THAT FEELING IN YOUR GUT IS THE VOICE OF GOD.

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!!

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/f/flattirekiller.htm

[Guest]

Stranger On the Shore
Words by Robert Mellin, Music by Mr. Acker Bilk



D G/B Em7 D DM7 G Gm7
Here I stand, watching the tide go out,

D F#m Bm Bm7 Em7 G/B A7
So all alone and blue, just dreaming dreams of you.


D G/B Em7 D DM7 G Gm7
I watched your ship as it sailed out to sea

D F#m Bm Bm7 Em7 G/B D D7
Taking all my dreams and taking all of me.



Bridge:


G F#m
The sighing of the waves

Em7 G/B D D7
The wailing of the wind

G F#m
The tears in my eyes burn

E7 A7
Pleading, "My love, return"


D G/B Em7 D DM7 G Gm7
Why, oh, why must I go on like this?

D F#m Bm Bm7 Em7 G/B D
Shall I just be a lone - ly stranger on the shore?


http://www.barb-coolwaters.com/a001/strangeronshore.html

[Guest]

The Bicycle Thief


Vittorio De Sica's ground/heartbreaking motion picture, The Bicycle Thief, is based on a very simple ideal for a story- man against the elements. In this case the elements are of a society that is often cruel and unforgiving, and that a job in post-war Rome is looked on as the luckiest of good luck charms.

Such a man as presented by De Sica is Maggiorani (an actor who really is the type of actor right off the street), a father of a little boy who gets a job putting up movie posters along some walls in Rome. To do this he needs a bicycle, or the job will be lost, and he gets one following a pawning of linen sheets. Very soon though, the bicycle is stolen, and from there a sad downward spiral unravels for the man and his son as they scour the streets for the bicycle.

While the score adds basic dramatic tension, everything else on the screen is done to such a pitch of neo-realism it's at times shattering, joyful (scene in the pizzeria the most note-worthy), and with a feeling of day-to-day resonance to those who may have not even felt at or below the poverty level in their lives. Credit due to all parties involved, though I don't think the boy Bruno, played by Staiola, gets nearly enough considering his role as a minor coming of age (that moment after the father and son leave the church nearly brought tears to my eyes).

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0040522/usercomments

[Guest]

According to the Dalai Lama, the purpose of
our existence is to seek happiness.

Happiness is our birthright as human beings. There is no doubt that life can be difficult—living in today’s world is not always easy. But despite life’s inevitable problems and challenges, genuine happiness is still possible—and The Art of Happiness books, tapes, and workshops can help show us the way to find the lasting happiness we all seek.

The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living was a groundbreaking collaboration between H.H. the 14th Dalai Lama, and Howard C. Cutler, M.D., a Phoenix-based psychiatrist. Beginning with a small first printing in 1998 the book rapidly spread by word of mouth to become a classic manual on human happiness. The book remained on The New York Times bestseller list for almost two years, and has become a source of help and inspiration to millions of readers throughout the world. Responding to the requests by readers, the Dalai Lama and Dr. Cutler followed this book with another volume in 2003, their second New York Times bestseller, titled The Art of Happiness at Work.

Drawing upon 2500 years of Buddhist wisdom, combined with the latest findings of modern science, and mixed with a healthy dose of common sense, these remarkable volumes offer a practical approach to human happiness—a rational approach that can be practiced by individuals from any background, tradition, or religion.

http://theartofhappiness.com/

[Guest]

Time to kill off the penny?

Now that the coins cost more to make than they’re worth, efforts have begun anew to kill off the cent -- and to save it, too.

In May, the U.S. Mint informed Congress that the cost of making a penny and a nickel will soon exceed the actual value of each coin. Thanks to the high cost of materials that go into the making of the coins -- zinc, copper and nickel -- the Mint estimates that by the end of the fiscal year, the cost of producing one penny will come to around 1.23 cents, and the cost of making a nickel will be 5.73 cents.

The news revived efforts to take the penny out of circulation. Rep. Jim Kolbe, R- Ariz., has begun drafting a bill to modernize America's currency system. According to Kolbe's press secretary, Korenna Cline, the bill would most likely include a slow phasing out of the penny, create a reasonable rounding system, increase the production and circulation of the $2 bill as well as the Sacajawea (often called the golden) dollar, and possibly change the composition of coins to include less-expensive metals.

In 2001, a similar bill that called for the abolishment of the penny, also drafted by Kolbe, never made it out of committee. (Do you think it's time to kill the penny?)

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/News/TimeToKillOffThePenny.aspx?GT1=8376

[Guest]

3 x 37 = 111
6 x 37 = 222
9 x 37 = 333
12 x 37 = 444
15 x 37 = 555
18 x 37 = 666
21 x 37 = 777
24 x 37 = 888
27 x 37 = 999

Nice one:
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

Trapeze:

0x 9 + 1 = 1
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9+10 = 1111111111

another Trapeze:
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

and another one:

0x 9 + 8 = 8
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
987654321 x 9 - 1 = 8888888888
9876543210 x 9 - 2 = 88888888888